I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
