The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
