I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
