That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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