I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
