I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
