So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
