I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
