literally had 100 drinks last night.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
