I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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