Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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