I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
