If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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