My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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