I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
