Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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