He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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