I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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