He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
