maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just want to make out with him forever
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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