oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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