But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
