The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
