Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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