Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
