i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
