Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
