Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
