You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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