i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
