Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
