You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
