I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
