I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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