I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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