Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
