Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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