i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
