no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
