im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
