That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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