you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
