I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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