What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
