i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
