i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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