Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
