it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
from now on my penis is your penis
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
