So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
