carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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