Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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