before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
