I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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